


she

by aphantasiac



Series: The Jankie/Dodie Series [2]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: F/F, Flashback, Highschool AU, Lesbian AU, Middle School AU, She by Dodie Clark, Song Inspired, gay realizations, slight mention of past sexual assault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:55:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23668753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphantasiac/pseuds/aphantasiac
Summary: "am i allowed to look at her like that? could it be wrong when she's just so nice to look at?"aka jackie flashes back to the past to when she first met jan. realizations are made.
Relationships: Jackie Cox/Jan Sport
Series: The Jankie/Dodie Series [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1704244
Comments: 1
Kudos: 30





	she

**Author's Note:**

> the first one went well so i made another! and im probably gonna continue the series! this one isn't as long as the first one but enjoy!

Jackie hated New York. She hated it before her father had even found a house. She hated it before they even packed up their house. She hated it before she got on the plane and she hated it still when she got off. Canada was her home, she grew up there. She had friends there, friends that actually liked her and friends that cried with her when she broke the news to them. Friends that she misses before she has even left. 

Her mom places her in a nice little middle school in the area at the beginning of her 8th grade year. For at least a month, she barely says anything to anyone. She keeps her head down, and she doesn't say much. Even in her choir class, something she actually was looking forward for, she fades into the background on purpose. She was the weird new kid, until she wasn't anymore.

A new face appears in the choir class. She's a small and pretty girl, and she's smiling and waving at the class while the director introduces her. Jackie doesn't hear a word the director says though because she's too busy staring at this new girl. Can't take her eyes off her. Blonde hair tied up in a ponytail, leggings and a large purple sweater hanging off one shoulder, and a lavender jansport backpack hanging off the other shoulder. Jackie almost doesn't realize that the blonde is walking right towards her, until the purple backpack is placed down and falls against her leg, and the vacant seat beside her is suddenly taken.

"Hey! I'm Jan!"

Her voice is bright, happy, but quiet because they are still in class after all. It cuts through Jackie's thoughts and makes her look over. Jan is sitting with her ankles crossed and a big smile on her face that matches the twinkle in her eyes. She's looking expectantly at Jackie, which makes her realize that she's just gawking at this girl.

"Jackie. Nice to meet you."

Jan giggles, "You too!" 

Jackie is about to respond, but Jan has already looked away and is looking up at the director who is giving instruction. Jackie looks up as well, but her mind is still whirling around the girl next to her.

Jackie walks home every day. Her house is not far from the school, and a good walk keeps her in shape. It also gives her time to think, usually about her homework, but today when she's walking out of the school she's thinking about Jan.

It's like that saying, 'speak of the devil and thy shall appear,' because she gets barely out of the school grounds and hears a newly familiar voice behind her.

"Jackie! Jackie, wait up!" 

Jackie stops and turns around and sees Jan jogging over to her, literally yelling her name as loud as she can. Jackie can't help but smile and chuckle a little, shakes her head because this girl is crazy. Jan catches up and she smiles, hasn't even broken a sweat. 

"You walk this way?" Jan asks, and Jackie nods. "Cool, i'll join you." 

Jan doesn't give Jackie the choice to say no, not that she would even if she was given a choice. They walk side by side quietly at first. Jackie realizes Jan is shorter than her, looks younger, wonders if she's in a different grade. Probably 7th, or maybe just a small 8th grader. She doesn't get a chance to ask, Jan beats her to it.

"So, what grade are you in?" 

"I'm in 8th, you?" 

Jan's eyes widen, and she laughs awkwardly.

"I'm only in 6th." 

It's Jackie's turn to look shocked, and she looks at Jan with raised eyebrows. She's younger than Jackie she thought. She sudden't feels bad for thinking Jan is so cute, and then realizes that she thinks Jan is cute and has a mini panic in her mind about that too. Jan is cute, giving her a cute smile and batting her cute eyes and when Jan reaches up to undo her ponytail while they're walking, Jackie realizes she has a cute streak of purple dyed into her hair. 

"Where are you from?" Jan asks after a moment of silence from Jackie. "Because that is definitely not a New York accent." 

Jackie chuckles a little, because Jan absolutely clocked her accent. It wasn't the first time this year someone has noticed the difference in her voice and asked her where she came from. Her parents told her it would go away once she's been in New York long enough, but Jackie doesn't think she wants that to happen. She likes her accent.

"Canada. Just moved here a couple of months ago." Jackie replies.

Jan smiles wide. "Ooh, that's so cool! I came from New Jersey and now i'm here!" 

Jackie has never been to New Jersey, doesn't know much about it, but it makes her smile because Jan looks to be very proud of where she comes from. Jan's eyes light up like stars when she talks about where she's from. They continue their walk, chatting and laughing about this and that, getting to know each other. They do this all the way until they reach the intersection where they will have to part ways. Jan waves and smiles big and Jackie waves back while she walks away. Jackie watches for a moment, the way her pony tail sways behind her and she catches herself smiling like a fool. 

She wishes she had her polaroid camera to capture the beauty and confidence this little 6th grader holds, even when she's walking the other way.

They do the same the next day, and every day after that until it becomes a routine. Sitting next to each other in choir, where Jackie is absolutely floored when she hears Jan sing for the first time, and then looks forward to hearing it every day she comes Walking home and talking about their day, learning that Jan wants to join the soccer team but is nervous, and Jackie gives her that extra little push of confidence she needs. Jan makes the team. And every time Jackie sees Jan, she gets a warm happy feeling inside. She quickly becomes Jackie's best friend, her life line at that school, and maybe even her first girl crush.

Jackie always knew she was different. Boys just aren't for her. She's never had a boyfriend before, doesn't ever want one. She always knew she felt differently, Jan was just the thing to help her realize what those feelings are. It feels wrong sometimes to look at Jan the way she does, she has no idea if Jan has those same feelings for other girls, but Jan is just so pretty it becomes near impossible not to admire her. 

And then the year ends, and things start to change. It's good at first, they hang out a lot over that summer, many afternoons spent in Jackie's bedroom singing their hearts out while Jackie's parents are at work. Many nights in her bed, with Jan cuddled up against her because the bed is small. Jan smells sweet, like lemongrass maybe, and it help Jackie relax when Jan is around. They go swimming, bike riding, and Jan even teaches (well, tries to) Jackie how to play soccer. It's some of Jackie's favorite memories, but when the school months come rolling around again, it changes. Jan is going into 7th grade, and Jackie is starting her freshman year of high school. There's no more choir class, no more walking home together. Jackie takes advanced classes because her mother makes her, and she gets a lot of homework that leaves little time for friends. But she doesn't think it's a big deal for Jan. According to Jan's social media, she seems to have made plenty of other friends.

They bonded over being new kids, but they're not new anymore, and they both have their own lives to live. 

\- - - - - - - - 

The next Monday after the incident at the party, Jackie sees Jan at school. She has her same bight smile, her same sparkle in her eyes, as she sits with her same group of girls at lunch. Jackie can't imagine what's going on in her head, but she looks happy and content and Jackie decides against going up to her, instead just keeps an eye on her from afar like she's so use to doing.

Jackie goes through her day like normal. Senior year has been the easiest so far. There's still a lot of work, but Jackie has played her cards right and figured out a way to organize it all. When the day is over, Jackie gathers up her notebooks and grabs her car keys and walks out the doors of the school thinking about Jan. She wishes she had found a chance to walk up to her and make sure she's doing alright. 

It's like deja vu from all those years ago. Speak of the devil (angel?) and thy shall appear.

"Jackie! Jackie, wait up!" 

Jackie stops and turns around and sees Jan walking as fast as she can to catch up to her. Jackie can't help but smile and chuckle a little, because some things just never change.


End file.
